I remember when my great grandmother passed on. I had just started my second year of college. Because my roommate failed too many of her classes, she wasn't able to return so I paid to have a room all to myself. It was my dad who called to tell me. And of course, it was extremely sad and I felt a great heaviness as she played an important role in my life.
Shortly after midnight there was a knock on my door and there was Honey. Apparently, Dad called him at work to let him know and although I know Dad never anticipated Honey staying the night... it was a great comfort to me.
I think I must have taken a few extra days off because I do remember being home for nearly a week. Mom had offered to store a lot of Grammie's things when the time came less than a year before to move her from her apartment to the nursing home. Sad really that in a way, none of her children would take her in. Although, stories I had heard made Grammie seem like a completely different person than the loving cookie baking Great grandmother that I knew. Hers is a tale to tell for later.....
Anyway.... trying to stay on point here... I remember my mom going through some of Grammie's things and there in one of the piles was a crazy quilt that she had kept in a blanket chest at the foot of the bed. I had never seen her use it, but I can still see her rummaging around that chest for an old shawl that she used to let me play with. It was the third item from the bottom. That was it's place. When I finished with it, that's where it was returned.
"No one wants the quilt?" I asked Mom in astonishment.
"No."
"Well, then I'm claiming it!!!!" It's a full sized crazy quilt that Grammie made herself. Grammie never threw ANYTHING away! She quilted, embroidered, cross stitched, crocheted, and loved to sew. She always hated getting older because the ache in her hands began to prevent her from doing what she loved after a time.
My mom can find pieces of the dresses and aprons that Grammie at one time wore before turning them into this quilt. There's flannel shirts, what looks like pj's, and table cloths all mixed into the log cabin quilt design. Each square is completely different than the other and your eye at first just doesn't know where to rest. At first I thought it was the most hideous backing that she could have chosen for the quilt... a mustard yellow polka dot fabric. But now, for me anyway, it just ...works. Grammie would find old woolen military blankets to sandwich in the middle so the quilt itself is extremely warm and cozy. For years and years, that quilt kept her scent. Whenever I missed her, I'd take it out and wrap it around me and feel as if she were with me.
When we were cleaning out Mom's house while getting ready to sell it, I came across this old tattered paper bag amongst Grammie's things. It was heavy and as I opened it up, all of these amazing quilt squares came falling into my lap.
There was a quilt top that she had done, and there was at least 14 quilt pieces sewn together in a flower pattern and even more squares done in a checker board pattern. All hand sewn... just sitting there. Why hadn't anyone taken these and finished it? They were sooooo beautiful! Some of these fabrics scream 1940's and 50's! They are so amazing. And what amazed me even more was there isn't a single moth hole or anything in them!!!! Other things in the box had been damaged. Even the bag had a big water stain on it from a leak in the roof. Again, I claimed what was hers as mine. I went out and bought a plastic tote to keep them safe.
Pregnant with the twins and already knowing I wanted Pumpkin to have one, I took them to a relative who made quilts and asked her to take a look at them and see how many quilts I could get from them. Stretching some of the squares a bit with a larger boarder inbetween the squares, I could probably get at least 3 twin sized quilts out of the homemade squares. Excellent!!!!! Could she make them for me if I paid her and get her whatever materials she needed?
She looked at me straight in the eye and said that she wouldn't even DREAM of touching them!!!!! "MacKenzie, my dear... it looks as if you are going to be making yourself some quilts." She went on to say that she felt that the quilt squares had "fallen into my lap" for a reason and that I should be the one to make them. "But, Pam," I exclaimed. "I don't even have a sewing machine. And even if I did have one, I wouldn't know how to use it!!!!" She sighed. "When you're ready, you let me know and I'll be happy to help guide you." Unfortunately, since then she's had a devasting stroke and can't use one side of her body well and we've fallen out of touch. Strangly enough, last year we were given a good deal on a sewing machine. One day, Honey up and decided to make a puppet and so he knows how to use it pretty well. It's slightly intimidating to me because you look at the thing wrong and the bobbin falls off it's setting, but well..... as I said, we did get a deal on it....
I've always loved quilts. All the work and creativity and love that goes into them. Our very first married Christmas together, Honey bought me a wedding ring pattern quilt that rests over the foot of our bed. A few weeks ago, a flyer came in for Adult education classes at the high school. There's everything from getting your GED to playing volleyball, learning to play guitar, painting, cake decorating... and learning to make a quilt. Obviously, I've thought about learning it off and on. I can look at a quilt and see how it goes together, but I just can't DO IT.
"Just do it," he says last Tuesday. "You know you want to... Just sign up for the class, and try it...." I swear, the Honey Devil made me do it. And today I find myself nervous as the class starts tonight. And feeling quite silly about it, too, in a way. My last five years has been about me, being here at home. I know Dora the Explorer better than I do the going gas price these days. I can change a bed within 5 minutes if needs be. I can make a really mean chocolate brownie if that what's called for. Need to hear a soothing version of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star??? I got it covered. Bloody knee? Not a problem here. Need the morning Disney channel line up???
I feel soooooo out of touch with the outside world. It was surprising how easily the home and the girls just became my own little world and now that they are nearly ready to move on... I feel kind of like I'm floundering. If I sat here and thought long enough, I could probably come up with a lot of irrational excuses why I shouldn't go. Part of me starts thinking that that's a good idea. They other half swears up and down that if it has to drag me out to that class by my eyebrows... I'm going....
Do I want to learn to quilt? yeah... secretly, I do, for a long time in fact. Pam didn't exactly put the idea in my head, only re-enforced it. I've made a lot of excuses such as it's too expensive (and yes, when the girls were in diapers and needed new clothing every 6 months, it really was, but that's not the case now!), there's no place to do it, I can't really sew, blah, blah, blah, excuse, excuse...... Technically, could I teach myself to quilt? Yeah, I really think I could. I made a practice square just last night just to familiarize myself with the sewing machine again. But with the class, I might learn a few tips to make it easier. I guess it boils down to needing to go to this class for the whole socialization aspect of it all. I know who I am at home. I know who I am on my blog. Do I know who I am in the outer world? I THINK so, but like understanding how the quilt goes together and ACTUALLy doing it.....I guess that's where the anxiety and everything else comes in like a deer caught in headlights.
and, here I go....
Cheers! ~MacKenzie
PS. Thank you, photobucket for the photos!!!!
I can't remember.... 
