Now who could sleep on a night like this?? It's so beautiful outside.











It's too ridiculous to try and describe or find pictures of a most magnificent moon when I could be back outside enjoying it.... ~MacKenzie

Oh my goodness, it was one of those sleepless nights last night. I try to be in bed by 11-11:30 because the twinadoes always get up early. If I'm way overtired, I fear that I will focus more on my needs than theirs and it's not fair to them so obviously I try to stay on top of the motherhood game.

Well, so I'm curled up on my side waiting for sleep to over take me. Waiting... waiting..waiting. It's just not happening. In fact, energy is building up, probably because I'm trying to fall asleep, and then I'm thinking that I need to fall asleep, but can't fall asleep and now, I'm more wide awake than ever. hummm... I poke at Honey for a bit, giggle, then give him a kiss or two... He is out and now, his deep breathing is just annoying me more than anything...

It was useless to stay there so I got up and prowled around the house. I didn't want to read, I didn't want to knit, didn't even want to listen to music (!!!), didn't want to cook past making myself a cup of tea, I didn't want to do any dusting or cleaning (yes, getting desperate at this point). Okay, okay... I got on the Inner Fire and I sat there, staring at the computer screen. Blankness blanketed my mind. I swear, there was NOTHING floating around in there!!! So I went to youtube for a little inspiration. Nothing. Imeem??? nope, Photobucket?? three strikes, you're out! So I made my way back to Blogstream and started hitting the random button. By that time I was pretty grumpy and feeling anti-social so I didn't leave comments. And even "haunting" the place didn't help much.

Isn't it annoying when that happens???

And I know, now I REALLY, REALLY have to get to bed and GET SOME SLEEP! I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO BE WRITING OR SPEAKING IN CAPS ALL DAY LONG!!! Sorry about that....

I crawled back into bed to discover that Honey hadn't missed me at all. Now I'm sleepless, overtired and really, really sad. And I know I'm sleepless, overtired, sad and at this point being irrational because I'm working myself into crying. (No, I'm REALLY not good when I'm overtired....) He always moves over to my side of the bed, even if I get up to go check on the kids. Sometimes it's just his arm that he flings out, sometimes it's his whole self. Usually, the second that I start climbing back in, he moves back to where he was sleeping. He doesn't even know it because I've asked him about it before. When we were first married, after the third time he did that, I sort of woke him up and asked him why and he murmured that he wanted to make sure I was there. awww... so sweet!!! And last night, he could have cared less. (insert ridiculous, way over the top pouty face, here...)

So stubbornly I moved to the further most section of my side of the bed, very cold toes and everything. But I always keep a spare blanket on my side of the bed so I snuggled down in that and eventually drifted off to sleep only to be woken by Monkey. "Mommie? I wanna sleep with you!!!" her very slurred and sleepy voice says. "Climb on in..." And with her snuggled up beside me, we both finally drifted off for a few hours of good sleep.

First thing this morning, with my hands wrapped around the coffee mug that he handed me, Honey looks at me and asks if I'm all right. I just smiled a secret smile, gave him a little peck on the cheek and told him that I was fine, and I am. He puts up enough with what I throw at him during waking hours. I won't add my imaginative thoughts to the chaos .



So with coffee in hand, I will continue throughout my day in hopes to make it at least til 9:00 tonight before I collapse in a tired mass of exhausted energy, and hopefully, Hopefully..I will not have a repeat of last night!

Cheers!~MacKenzie

It's a gloomy day outside today. It keeps making me yawn!!! Hopefully it will improve, although the weather today calls for rain. I have to take Pumpkin to a dentist appointment later on this afternoon. We're sort of in the middle of no where when it comes to medical services and any "real" shopping. Sure, there is a grocery store, hardware store, recycle shop for used clothing, dollar store and of course a hair salon and gas station nearby. But, we have to travel half an hour to the nearest pharmacy and a few better stores and 45 minutes to the better hospital in the area as well as Pumpkin's dentist. As wonderful as Autumn is, I don't like having to drive on wet leaves on a newly tarred road, especially when I need new tires (which are scheduled to be put on tomorrow!)... But knowing what I know I'll just go slow when I need to.


The person who is interested in the trailer is going to talk to Honey today. She already told Papa that although she is very interested, she can't come up with the money and was hoping that maybe she could make payments. Because we know her and know what situation she is coming out of, for her, we are asking only what we owe on the place. If the bank will allow us to "switch names" on the paper work and let her assume our loan, then that is what we'll do. If the bank won't let that happen, we'll figure out something for her.


Honey is actually going to have a busy day. He and Papa have an appointment to see a house that has possibilities for our housing project. We're still trying to figure out how to wade the waters as some people are saying one thing, others another. One of the financial directors, however told them to submit a plan, timeline and budget and she would start pushing it through. Wow.... exciting and scary at the same time.... I think this is where the flow of life is taking me (us). I mean, things just seem to be falling into place. It just feels... right. We won't commit to purchasing the house until we know for sure that there are a few candidates who would work in the type of house we'll be trying to form.

It does get a little tricky at that point because after the purchase of the home, you have to renovate it according to the State regulations, have to find the furniture needed for it, then have the home licensed, have the fire marshal approve of the house. If there are things you have to fix to meet those requirements, it all takes time. Maybe from the point that you purchase the house until the time you are ready to move the first person in, there is an 8 month gap. Who makes the payment for those 8 months??? THAT, I'm nervous about. But I guess that's part of the risk. I'm sure that others have figured out how to work through that, it's a matter of learning how they did it.....


On a side note, I got an email from my sister. (we SOOO need to keep in better touch.....) It's only a link with a job in Idaho (the state that she lives in) that Honey might be interested in. The title reads: Ever thought of moving to Idaho??? Sis must be feeling homesick. I do appreciate that, however, Mom has already told sis that she WILL NOT move to Idaho. What? I'm just going to up and leave our mom? Oh, I know the thought line, if she were to get us out there, surely mom would have to follow. Sis, I love ya, truly I do, but this one is just not going to happen. I admit, I can't imagine being so far away from family. Actually, I can't imagine being away from New England. I just love this area. Recently, her and her new honey bought an old school house complete with gym where they, his dad and her kids are now calling home. At least they are now away from her overbearing jackass of an ex..., even if it is only a few towns over. I do miss Sis very much. We were never really close growing up, but after she went to college, we started to connect better. I think that we have many of the same goals and feelings towards wanting to return to a simplier life style and that really helps bind us together. I don't even really know my nieces and nephews. And unfortunately, we haven't been much of letter writers. It was great when they had a computer, but well, this that and the other happened... Humm.... how far would I have to travel to reach the ocean??? Ahhhh.. as tempting as any adventure is, I know my place is here....


Have a great Tuesday!!!!

Cheers! ~MacKenzie

I have an acquaintance who is really into astrology. She enjoys sending me my horoscope every once in awhile and I received an email from her today.

"Libra:
Your daily routine may be disturbed today by an unavoidable emotional drama. You are pulled one way then another and it's hard to tell what's really happening. Forget about attempting to use your common sense, for this is an irrational time and can be quite exciting if you don't get too stuck on being so serious."

Now, do I believe in astrology? Not particularly. Do I believe that the heavens and nature around us affect us in some way? Yes. Do I believe that the strange merge points that occur in people's lives happen for a reason? MOST DEFINITELY!!!!

With the simple thought from a friend echoing through my mind (and if you read my post from below, now that I have a sparkling bathroom... ) I can say...
Cheers! ~MacKenzie