Why is it always so much harder to get up on the second day of a new routine???
Last night I had a moment where I regretted moving here. Honey has a really nasty work week as a few deadlines for the funding he is responsible for was moved up from the end of next month to the 7th. Stupid state stuff.... So when he got home, he had a real migraine and went to lay down for a bit. That left me with everything... which, I suppose in retrospect, it should have been fine.
I really wanted to hear about Pumpkin's day yesterday. I had a vision of all of us a funny happy family sititng around the dinner table telling us stories of our day...you know, the whole "leave it to beaver" family scenario. I missed Pumpkin yesterday and I just wanted to connect. Of course, right when she got home, she wanted to go play outside (typical kid, yes??
) I noticed the the twinadoes in typical tornado fashion had made a mess of the sun room so I told them that they had to clean up before they went outside.
Well, I got busy after that. I'm STILL doing laundry from this weekend and along with tending that, unpacking (my mom and grandmother came over because they wanted to see the kids and they distracted me from doing as much unpacking as I wanted) and cooking dinner last night, I wasn't able to give as much direction to the twins as I probably should have. It felt like everything had to come together at once. And I just got really stressed about it. By the time I was getting the food on the table, Pumpkin was super hungry, the sun room was still a mess and Honey, after two reminders was still no where around.
Meantime, the twinadoes had had several reminders from me poking my head through the door to clean up. Of course, they'd rather play. So, with Pumpkin sitting down to eat, the food starting to get cold, toys all over the sun room, and my vision of the happy family dinner going right down the drain, frustration got the better of me and I got upset. And I yelled.... and his parents heard.... and then apparently they thought that I couldn't hear them, but at the moment it felt as if they were saying how inadequate and uneffective of a parent I was. I wanted to just STORM through that door and tell them off big time. And then I felt horribly guilty, that they were right I was just a horrible, horrible person and couldn't do anything right and... (sigh....)
So, I finished helping them clean up and by the time we were done, Honey was also up, Pumpkin had finished her dinner and didn't want seconds and I sulked all through the meal and was quiet the rest of the night. Isn't that awful!!! Good grief!!!
This morning, I am extremely embarrassed. I don't want to face my parents in law; I sort of hope that I don't but my life seems to run by Murphy's laws where worst case scenarioes rule.... This morning I can look at the situation and say, okay, today I am not going to repeat such and such.... I'm going to do this differently. (I'm going to have 4 glasses of wine while I'm cooking tonight.... Ha! just kidding...) I can only try better today....
Today, after all is a new day....
Cheers! ~MacKenzie
Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow. -Dorothy Thompson
I have to get up early and start trying to find some sort of routine for school mornings. Then, I have to completely unpack!!! Then, we need groceries!!!! THEN, I REALLY, really hope to be able to get back on here and catch up on comments as well as blogs. 
