You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

TEMPERMENT: the tendencies pecular to an individual, natural disposition; tendency to act without self-restraint

Actually, there's a lot in here that I have to claim as how I feel about myself. Brood??? SULK????? why, never.....

Have a GREAT Friday everyone!
Cheers! ~MacKenzie

It's Summer!!!!

 

If I had been ambitious enough to get the girls up and take them to the beach at sunrise, this is a pretty good picture of what we would have seen.

Today, there are bright puffy clouds that are making the sun play peek a boo. It's supposed to be like that all day. Every summer solstice the girls and I plant a little sun garden. This year, it's really small, but it has bright eye popping yellows, oranges and reds in it. It will feel good to feel the warm sun on our arms, the dirt in between our finger nails, watching all the colors mix together. Later, if the clouds cooperate, we will lay back on the grass and watch for pictures in the clouds, or maybe we'll run and dance through the fields or who knows what fancy will take us during this longest day of the year!!!

Happy Summer Solstice!

Cheers! ~MacKenzie

So Monday, Pumpkin had invited all the girls over from her grade to an end of the year picnic. For some, this may sound like quite an undertaking. However, seeing as there is only 9 in her class and 3 are girls (including her), it wasn't so bad. And unfortunately, one of the could not make it. Pumpkin and her best friend had a wonderful time! It was really nice to get to know her best friend a little better and I'm hoping that we can get them together a lot over the summer.


Yesterday was Pumpkin's last day of school. They had half a day and I was supposed to pick her up at 11:30. So I get to the van and buckle the twinadoes up and shut the mini van door. And try to shut it again. I give it the evil eye and attempt to do so again. WTHeck? It's getting late and Pumpkin will be so upset if I have to pick her up late. I know what I have to do and I DON'T want to do it.

Knock on Mom C's door. Thank the Divine she was actually home!!! I quickly tell her what's going on and leave what she wants to do in her hands. She tells me to leave the girls here and tosses me her Escalade keys.

It's pretty darn daunting to be driving a vehicle that's probably two or three times as expensive as yours. (even though I do have to admit that even before the driveway was out of site, the sunroof was all the way open and the radio going.... ) I was a bit surprised. I wasn't sure quite what to expect, but to me, it handled just like Papa's truck. Even having to back into the parking space wasn't too bad.

Fortunately, when Honey got home, he was able to fix the door which is good because we have a few errands to run today.


So yesterday, I am still in Sunday's funk. (wow... you really have to be careful when you spell funk, don't cha! ) Anyway, so I was sweeping the floor last night after supper and I realized that my sad mood was definitely turning towards that oh, woe is me syndrome. It wasn't about Zach anymore and all about me. Time to cut that off as the pass, so to speak.

Ever find comfort in the mundane? The simple motion of the sweeping, for me, anyway, symbolic of what I had to do. The sound of the bristles across the floor, the knowledge that I had to get rid of the now negativity that was dirtying up the throught processes, scooping everything up and throwing in away.....I kept repeating to myself last night and this morning that it is going to be a good day, going to be a good day..... my mantra for today.

Song: Only Time, by Enya



Cheers! ~MacKenzie

So what would you do to have a little time to yourself???

This morning, I woke up around 4am. Couldn’t get back to sleep at all. It seems as if my very soul wanted to see the sunrise this morning. After making a cup of tea, I opened the blinds on our bay window that coincidentally face east, out over the water. I sat back and put on some soft music and let my soul go out for one of its walks.

I wasn’t sure exactly where the sun rose; I thought it might behind some trees that grow by the water’s edge. So I waited and thought and just relaxed in the quiet. I noticed a ribbon of light growing in the sky, but didn’t pay too much attention, actually.

And suddenly, that bright orb of intensity popped his head out in a completely different place than what I anticipated. It felt as I could actually see it moving upwards before it got so bright, I had to look away.

The grass in the front lawn sparkled with water drops that the thunderstorms of last night drenched us in. I turned and watched the light flood through the house. It was so pretty! The sun seemed to wake up the house in a way I had never seen before.

In my observations, I glanced back to the window seat. Now, I have a set of angels that I really had no place for and they ended up in front of the window temporarily. I fear the either the girls or the cat may knock them off. It’s like a little garden scene and one is near a well with birds all around her. The other angel is sitting under a flowering tree. Some accent pieces with rosebushes and flowers form sort of a border for them. The sun streaming through the window woke them up as well, for it was illuminating their wings. They were bathing in the morning sun. I don’t think I could move them now even if I wanted to…..

I feel in some ways, I should have denied myself this beautiful and peaceful moment. I actually am beyond upset with myself for the nearly unforgivable blunder that I did yesterday. I don’t know how I could have forgotten, how I could have messed up so much.

Whenever I give Honey a “family” present such as on his birthday or Father’s Day or whatnot, I always sign it with love from his kids, or from all of us with love, or a big we love you. Even though Zachary may not be here with us physically now, he’s still in our hearts and it’s he who made Honey a father first, so to actually forget, to have him completely out of my mind, absolutely scares the hell out of me. And rips at me because I actually forgot one of my children. How could I do that? He was no where in the gift this time.

Am I forgetting? Because with every moment of his birth, there is also deep pain that goes with it because I know what happens next. That’s just the way it is. And yet, I don’t mind it, because at least it’s not complete despair anymore. It’s June. And I am well aware of the fact that in one more month he should be 9. This month, as in the past several Junes I relive the events over and over again. So to not remember him on such an important day and celebration as a vital part of my family truly is unforgivable.

The Blues Brothers

 

 

Saturday's song: Blues Brothers- Everybody Needs Somebody

Cheers! ~MacKenzie