Your Emoticon Is Laughing

You've got a wicked sense of humor. You're everyone's favorite IM buddy... at least today!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!









Cheers! ~MacKenzie

I think I get the feeling that we've really settled in to this home now. We've been here a month and I fear the newness is beginning to wear off. No longer is everyone giving their 110% to keep the place neat and tidy. I'm finding dirty clothes in the bathroom, toys where they shouldn't be, work space areas cluttered. In this small space, clutter really stands out.

I've made detailed cleaning lists and have spread everything out over the course of a month what I think would be adequate maintanence in keeping this house looking nice and fresh and homey. (Is homey a word? It doesn't look much like a word, but what the heck... I'm going with it ) And I look at the list and think... Wow... in some ways, it's a pretty long list. It's not too long a list for 5 people though.

But there lies the rub. Currently, 5 people are not working on the list. Only one person is.... Which, makes me consider what I'm doing wrong. And, Have I been doing everything wrong all along?

And then I remember that for the last few days my sweet little Monkey has been making her bed all by herself WITHOUT me asking her to. Well, made only by certain standards. There are lumps and bubbles and often it is somewhat lop sided. I WANT SO MUCH to go back and straighten it up for her, but I know I can't. She is very proud that she helped out and so I will not give in to the need to control how her bed is made, as long as it is. I will be content with the effort that she is making to help and when able, will do my best to assist her and guide her into making her bed even better. It's hard through....
But surely I am doing something right???

How DID my family get to be such slobs? Do my girls have too many toys? Is it just genetics they get from their father... ha ha ha <---Honey if you're reading this..... (By the way, I told him that I had done a post on my blog about him, but he hasn't commented one way or the other about it so I don't know if he just hasn't read it or if he doesnt' like it or what.... )

Have I not been a good role model? Have I not tried to consistently teach them that they need to pick up after themselves? I have to admit that Pumpkin is horrible!!!! The other day I asked for one of her books and she could't find it. I went into her room and looked on her bookshelf and she had literally taken whatever was on her floor and had just thrown it onto the shelves stating that she was done cleaning her room earlier. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to explain that if she would just put things back in its proper place to begin with, she may enjoy her room much more. Perhaps if I went back in with her AGAIN and helped her straighten her room and tried to explain that AGAIN maybe it would click??? I mean, she is perfectly content that if an article of clothing from her closet is dropped onto the floor, she just kicks it out of the way rather than picking it up and hanging it again. Are some people just genetically messy???

I admit, it wears me down. ALOT.

Last night I took a bit of a break after dinner. Finally I looked over at the counters and sighed. He asked what was wrong and I said that the counters looked EXACTLY the way they were at the trailer. (We have as little counter space here as we did there.) I feared we were falling back to old bad habits. We shouldn't slide backwards. It's not that big of deal, he said. It's just the dinner dishes. But it's not that, I protested. We couldn't even make a meal right now. What if someone came over? But they're not at 9:00 at night, he said. You're purposely avoiding the point, was my reply. Fine, we'll try harder.... I think he was just pacifying me.

What do you do when you feel at opposite ends of yourself? On one hand, I don't want to be the bitch or the bad guy. On the other, I don't want to feel like a sorry slave to this place either.

I suppose right now I just can't loose the resolve to make things better. With the girls hopefully I can hold my patience and continue to slowly instruct and teach so that hopefully Monkey and Parrot will get on board with this whole neat thing. Hopefully I can keep the consistancy going then it will become second nature to them. If I win them over to the Cause maybe Pumpkin would find its advantages, too. Honey, well.... remember those bad habits I mentioned in my last post.... if he hasn't seen the advantages of a clean environment in the past 30 years, what chance do I really have???

And I guess blogging is not helping to get the floors vacuumed or the laundry washed....

Cheers! ~MacKenzie

Dearest Love, I had to chuckle when I picked up the mail today and found a card for us. It still makes me laugh that after all this time, not everyone knows of our story. And that’s okay. It’s like a fun secret between us.



I miss you today, more than in other days. I wish we could both sleep in late so I can wake up cuddled up against you. I love waking up with your arms around me. Your warm skin against my warm skin, how can I not run my fingers over you? The ridges, hardness, curves, smoothness of your skin feel so wonderful. How could I not give in to temptation and taste you under my lips? I love your tickle spots. I love your protests to NOT do that again because you know I have to because I love to hear your laugh. And I love caressing that one spot that makes you…...quiver.. You know where my lips are headed and I do enjoy to tease, to prolong the excitement that slowly is building in both of us. I love the feeling that happens between us whether it be frantic, or soft or a place inbetween.



I also know that before long you will not lay still and will retaliate. I admit to thinking that you give better than you get. Your body on mine feels like magic. You can make every nerve, every electron of my being sing to your tune.



Sorry, but those who think marriage is boring must be doing something wrong. They must not have experienced how wonderful and exciting and powerful it is to know their lovers body as well as their own, to know how the right touch, right place, the right whisper can send one from 1 to 10 in a matter of seconds. How even in a crowd of people, the hidden caress, the flat out, this is what I’m planning on doing to you when we get home, sends me to a near melting state. ..



And that’s not even where we end. Thank you for seeing something in me all those years ago. I thank the Divine every day that you did not give up, that you kept pushing and pushing your way into my life, my heart. You are amazing. I can’t believe that you put up with all that I throw at you. You are the only one when I am tumbling over the edge that can pull me away from the precipice. In fact, I DO even understand sometimes why you yell (maybe not at the time, but later). When I am so frustrated and stressed that I have the jitters and begin to see spots in front of my eyes and talk more than a mile a minute, it’s your voice that gets through.



I love all your good habits, and accept most of your bad ones, too, because that is part of what makes you, you. I love your creative streak, even when it is CONSTANTLY changing. And for every new hobby there’s new tools, new supplies, new gadgets that you MUST have. Although I end up having to find that $150 for your new endeavor that you “spring” upon me unexpected, I love seeing what you do with it. You amaze me with how you can take a few around the house items and create something new and fantastic. Still, I do remain envious that you can put on a jewelry clasp much better than I, you brat…...

I love, Love, LOVE that you always have a plan…...



Also, I could not have chosen a better father for my children than you. You can explain things so much better than I. I love that you take the time to make the girls laugh. I love that you take an interest in their interests. I love watching you with them when they are sick because they know you can help them feel better. I love that when Pumpkin was so sick a few years back, that you didn’t even leave her side and put her first before your own needs and comfort while I was preoccupied with our newborn twins. And when she was resting comfortable, the fact that you came out to help with the twins touched me more than you know.



I love your free spirit. I love the fact that you don’t really care what others think of you because you are so confident in yourself. Even when your parents give you the disapproving eye, you can shrug it off because you know what is best for you. How the heck do you do that? I appreciate your hardness, distrust, and cynicism. Where I may jump in heart first, you help me to stand back and see what is really needed. And even when I tell you that I’m going to jump in heart first anyway, I appreciate that you let me make my own decisions and stand by me in them. I love it that we can get into a rip roaring, roof raising fight and still, I can feel safe with you even through that.


Where are the words to let you know how I truly feel about our marriage, our life together? You don’t appreciate the mushy stuff, so I won’t go there. A simple “Thank You” is far from inadequate. And you give me so much love in return, that not even an I Love You seems to cut it.



I can promise you that even through my darker moments, even though I can’t get out what is in my heart, even when I can’t stand to look at you because I am so mad, even when I appear indifferent, I love you more than you can possibly imagine. I happily devote myself to you and give to you all that I can, flawed and ridiculous as I am.




Free In You- Indigo Girls

Oh my goodness, what a long, long, LONG day it has been today. And unfortunately, it has been one of those days where the more you try to do, the more you just seem to fall behind. It's these days when I return to my "comfort music". And when Koko Taylor tells me "everything, everything gonna be all right..." I just can't help but believe her.

Koko Taylor's I'm A Woman

OH yeah.... feeling better already!!!!!



Cheers! ~MacKenzie

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Accepting

No matter what a friend says or does, you try your best to understand it. And your friends feel like they can tell you anything. You don't judge. You know that friendship is a journey - with a lot of ups and downs. If you and a friend grow apart, you get over it quickly... and leave the potential for future friendship open. You tend to have many friends from many walks of life. Anyone you meet is could become a friend. In fact, you are especially interested in people who are a little different than you. Seeing life from another perspective is something you cherish. Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else with their secrets You really can't be friends with: Dogmatic, stubborn people Your friendship quote: "Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes."

Good morning, Everyone! May you have a wonderful start to your Friday today!!!

Cheers! ~MacKenzie