Good evening, everyone! Today has just been a chill day from the week's active pace. Tonight it's low, soft and soothing..... Edie Brickell's Stay Awhile...... The lyrics (of which aren't many) are scattered inbetween the pictures. I really enjoy this melody. Stay awhile, stay as long as you can All right.... I don't mind if I do Pull up a lawn chair, take your dreams outside All right.... I don't mind if I do Lay low and motor, motor along..... Rest awhile, rest as long as you need All right! Loosen your laces, let your soles be free All right, I don't mind if I do.......

Phew!!!! I will be so HAPPY to have the end of this week GONE!!!! Dead lines and the "to do" list just seems to keep growing, and growing and growing.

Today it has felt as if everything and everyone just keeps pecking away at me. If I could just have a chance to stop, breathe, focus, I could do better. As much as I love the girls, I wouldn't mind just chucking them out the window. Sound absolutely terrible? Yes, I know. I agree. And believe me, it doesn't add to the stress level at the moment.

I was up late last night trying to work on a report for work. 1 report down, two more to finish writing and another to schedule. To look on the bright side, I know I should be happy that at least one was finished up.

Pumpkin had an appointment with an allergist yesterday. She's highly allergic to dust and mold, tree pollen and horses. The horse thing is absolutely devastating to her because this past year she's had horse-back riding lessons. She absolutely loves it and her instructor, who has many awards herself, says that Pumpkin is a natural. The horse she works with doesn't take to too many, and Pumpkin is one of them that the horse listens to. There's been a bond built up between the two of them. Pumpkin has long dreamed of a farm with horses, cats, dogs, chickens, reptiles (hey...it's her dream....) and well, we might as well say all the animals under the sun. It'd just cut down a little time.

Of course, guess what else she's allergic to...yup....cats and dogs. The cat situation will be all right as long as the cats stay out of her room. Honey and I decided last night that we will install a screen door in her room so that air can flow through but the cats can't get it. Some of the allergies are so severe that the dr. wants her on full time meds for awhile to see how she reacts. Some of this could be a precursor to asthma. So how do you keep dust and mold out of a hot air heated trailer of all things. I feel as if the weight of all this falls on my shoulders.

Care to guess what I've been doing this morning???.... cleaning. It just seems the more I clean, the more I find to do, the heavier my shoulders are getting. It certainly doesn't help that the twinadoes are on the war path today. If there is something they aren't supposed to be doing, they are finding it and doing it. I keep trying to get them to help me, but they know what it is.... it's work. And they don't want to do work today. They'd much rather strip their beds and then jump on them, throw the clothes out of their dressers, have bathroom accidents or make each other cry.

Damn. My promised 15 minutes are up. It goes by so fast, doesn't it!!!!! Well, back to the Swifter, the dyson, the duster, the.....

I admit, I'm just not a very happy camper today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.....

Small story for today. I made mac and cheese with hot dogs along the side for lunch. I place the plates with the very browned hot dogs in front of the girls. Monkey looks at her plate and then at her sister, and back to her plate again. "The hot dogs are reallllllyy brown," she says. Parrot looks down at hers. "Oh.... well, that can't be good."

I don't know, fellow bloggers.......
Cheers! ~MacKenzie

Remember that childhood game? Pulling of the petals of a perfectly beautiful flower with the honed skills of a predator searching for prey, just for a little divination of how a relationship would turn out, even before it really began. I was so intense looking for love when I was younger. My heart was on the move. I was searching at an early age for the place I could truly call home. When I knew those boys weren't right, I just tossed them aside.... something I'm truly not proud now to admit.

I gave as good as I got, though. My young romantic heart was played with and trampled on more than once (aren't ours all?). It's said that kids are cruel, but sometimes I wonder if it was even worse in high school. There's so much change during those years, so many expectations from you yourself and from others.

The one before Honey was the worse. Oh, how I wanted to believe him. He loved me, he was going to marry me and take care of me. Maybe we wouldn't be rich, but we would be together and we'd make it work. He was going to do his best by me. It was my longest relationship yet. And those young hormones danced and sparkled over us with such heat and intensity. Hmmm.... I thought. Maybe he is the one.

The break up was prolonged and devastating. We did fight for each other, for awhile. In the end, 2+2=3. There's twists and turns and then catastrophes. I have to believe that in the end it just wasn't right. It was just not meant to be. I had wanted to give him everything and almost, ALMOST did.

Remember throwing in the towel? Saying enough is enough!!!! I'm done, I'm getting off before there's nothing left?

I thought I was doing good, standing there, proud and alone. Standing by my convictions. Yet somehow Honey just sneaked right into my cooling heart and began the long, slow invasion. Funny how love sneaks up on you sometimes. One minute there's nothing. Next, WTF is this?????


(It's okay...just change thought for a second or two....) So, last night it began to grow bitter cold. The first cat I'd even owned (if you can call it owning a cat, that is), the first one who actually came and found us, the one I have loved at first sight, who is 13, was still outside. Hadn't seen her all day long. Usually she was back in the house by the time the girls went to bed. So I was getting a little worried. I knew it would drop below zero before the night was through.

Before I went to bed, I wrapped a blanket around me and stepped out onto the porch. I just knew she was out there nearby. So, I began to call for her. It took a long time, but suddenly I heard a furious scratching against the plastic skirting we have around the trailer. For whatever reason, she'd gotten under the trailer, but couldn't get out. If she wasn't scratching, she was meowing so loud I could hear her over the wind and falling snow. I couldn't leave her there, but I couldn't get the skirting open in the dark. Sigh. I knew who could, though. And I didn't want to wake him as he'd been really tired and had already been bed for more than an hour.

Finally I tip toed into the bedroom. "Honey.... Honey?" was met with an aggravated still in sleep response. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to wake him or not when he's like that. Maybe if I tried calling the cat again, she'd figure it out.

A few minutes later, the door opened to reveal a very sleepy Honey. He was able to pop off the skirting. Zee darted out of the opening after a minute or two and zipped into the house. My Thank-yous were met with a "Can I just go back to sleep now?"

He didn't get up from our cozy warm bed for himself or even the cat (he's not really a cat person). The cat may possibly have been fine where she was. The reason he was out there in the dark fighting with the skirting was for me. That means something to me more than the words he can say.


I know I write about us often. I think most of my blog is probably made up of Honey this and Honey that (and it's not even a to do list!!!) I know I probably drag on and on about what it feels like to be in love with him. Good heavens, I'm in my 30's and I sound like a school girl.

Honey is probably the most positive force running through my life. It's scary how much I depend upon him, how much I need and want him. I always thought I was more independent than that. Could I pick up and move on if he decided to say good bye? Yes, I would force myself to; even though life could not nearly be as sweet and as glorious as this.

Maybe that's why I write about us so much. Life does not come with a 100% guarantee. Oh, that it did. (although, wouldn't that take some of the excitement and adventure away?)

Here and now is good. Even with ups and downs and insecurities. Arguments or laughter. Fears and uncertainty of what lies ahead. Even with the occasional angry overtones. This is good so I have grabbed a hold with both hands, whole heartedly.

Life is also supposed to be a balancing act. I feel a bit over the top on the high end of the scales. Eventually, shouldn't the other shoe/ball drop? I have these reminders, mementos. I write it all down so I will not forget, should darkness decide to descend upon our door step.

Right now I will joy in these moments of what I consider love.

Cheers! ~MacKenzie

Some people are up for life's challenges, some people find a detour at the earliest opportunity. Some people just stare at the sign, never moving forward or backward. Everyone has to find their way.

Good evening, everyone!!!! Just think, full moon and lunar eclipse all in one tonight. As we all know, the moon effects the waters and tides. If we are made up mostly of water, how do you suppose an eclipse and full moon effects us all in one night? Here's a Kate Bush song called Strange Phenomena. So what Strange Phenomena has happened to you during this moon phase??? Partial Lyrics: Soon it will be the phase of the moon When people tune in Every girl knows about punctual blues But who's to know the power Behind our moves A day of coincidence with the radio And a word that won't go away We know what they're all going to say "G" arrives, funny had a feeling he wsa on his way CHORUS: We raise our hats to the strange phenomena Soul birds of a feather flock together We raise our hats to the hand a-moulding us Sure 'nuf--he has the answer He has the answer...... I'll be back later after the munchkin's have drifted off to dream land. Cheers!!!! Post Script: sorry everyone! My choice of song tonight doesn't seem to be playing well for everyone. (I blame full moon interference..... ) There is another song in the comments that gives you a good feel of her style. Sorry if you can't hear this one!!!!