I started writing this yesterday, but I just ran out of time to finish it!
Last night, as I was turning off the lights before going to bed, I happened to glance out the window. As the full moon is almost here, you could see shapes and forms popping out of the darkness. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to get out star gazing. I miss it. Big fluffy clouds almost completely covered the sky. There were absolutely no stars in the sky, all except one.
This one star was just twinkling away. It was so pretty. A million thoughts and feelings seemed to race through my mind at once. Defiance. Independence. Freedom. Daring. Love. Peace. And more….. I’m not sure how long I stood there staring, letting all the thoughts jumble in my head. It was okay that they stayed jumbled. It was more important just to feel them. Finally with a smile on my face I went to bed.
I always seem to find some sort of clarity when I star gaze. Sometimes a problem that I have been pondering for so long suddenly has the answer. Sometimes when I’m struggling with myself, things begin to click in place. Maybe it’s because I’m allowing myself to stop and listen.
Part of star gazing to me is not only seeing, but allowing all the senses to have free range in the experience. Sometimes it’s not about watching the stars at all. I can completely let all the walls down and just be. I find the night to be beautiful and I love just taking it all in as well as the feelings it invokes. A warm summer evening breeze from a hot day, or the cold crisp wind that nearly pierces your skin. Or, lying in the grass. It’s fun in the day time but at night, I find it comforting and soothing.
Hearing the night around me is also definitely part of the experience. The night birds, the rustling in the woods and the hope that it’s just a bird settling or a mouse, maybe a deer. Having just the slightest notion of possible danger which sharpens the senses just adds to the sensation. I know I have blogged about the night’s song before so I won’t go further.
When I was in high school, I found THE VERY best place to star gaze. We lived next to a river. Occasionally when I couldn’t sleep, I’d slip out of the house and sneak through the large field that someone else owned behind our house and slip down to the river bank. I’d either sit on the edge of the river and watch the stars though the reflection in the water or would lean back against the trunk of a HUGE pine tree that stands a few feet away from the edge. From there I could still see the stars as they followed the path of the river to the ocean. All five senses were there, sight of the stars, hearing the river, feeling the grass or trees along side me, the smell of the night’s perfume, the touch of water or earth beneath me, the taste of the night air. Next to the ocean’s edge, that is the most tranquil place I have ever been privileged to find.
I wondered if my Dad figured it out. Sometimes when I planned to make an escape, he’d be conveniently downstairs tending the wood stove. I mean, what parent really wants their kids running around the neighborhood after midnight. I always had to find some excuse as to why I was down there. Getting a glass of water didn’t cut it when I was completely dressed. It didn’t really make a lot of sense. After awhile, I would leave clothes in the bathroom so I could CHANGE before I went out. Still, when he was there I’d usually sit and talk to him for a bit. Sometimes even nights when I hadn’t needed to be under the stars, I’d hear him descend the stairs. Was he making more noise than usual? Hummmm… there were times I had to find out. I’m so glad now that I followed through on those instincts so I can have the memories as well.
I was always told that the house was, ummm…how shall we say it? The house was impressionable. Most people, my mother and mother in law included, did not like the feeling of the house. I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to stuff like that when I was younger, but when Honey and I returned home after we were married, I tended to agree that the house wasn’t like other normal homes. In fact, more than once after we returned home, I saw my father tending the woodstove. I know it wasn’t all in my head….or was it?
I’m getting off subject.
Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel that I should have learned by now how to keep the feeling of star gazing with me. I’m missing that vital link that helps me absorb what I find out among the stars and apply it to every day life. Some day I will figure it all out though. Until then, I’m going to keep pulling at it’s threads and continue enjoying the night sky.
Wow…this post was a lot longer than I intended it to be……
Cheers! ~MacKenzie
) had completely corroded and wouldn't let them pull up the pump. Finally John, our plumber, used his Maine ingenuity and adapted the rod they were using in the well so that both he and Honey could yank on it at the same time. Honey unfortunately has a horrible kink in his back now, but after the past week of frustrating and moodiness, he was not going to let a little thing as rust get in his way. 
Mom and Nana invited us over today for lunch, the use of their washer and dryer and showers. yay!!!!!! 
Move over beautiful Blues boys, tonight the Queen of the Chicago Blues is paying the Inner Fire a little visit. Oh yes, it's Koko Taylor. She has so many wonderful songs, I couldn't choose so I closed my eyes and just started clicking away. I'd say union of my fingers on the mouse did a pretty good job..... I'm simply Spellbound!!!!! 
