14 years. That's how long I've been married to Honey. 14 years today. We started dating when I was only 16 years old. Why I was lucky to meet the love of my life at 16, I'll never know. It has its definite advantages, and of course a few disadvantages as well.

I have been with Honey for longer than I've been without him. That's a strange thing to consider. I have spent half of my life with him. That just sounds odd to me. In some ways, it feels as if he has always been here...forever. Other times, he's like a breath of fresh air that's come through, clearing away the cobwebs. Love can be so strange sometimes.

I could sit for the rest of the night and share memories of "stuff" we've done together. There's enough of them now. I could brag him up big time, although that might make him sound larger than life. He's not; he's just right.

I suppose there's a lot of things that I could do right now. However, after a really stressful day at work, he's in the shower. I think maybe I'll go and wait for him. Perhaps I will join him and see what pops up for the rest of the evening.....


Cheers! ~MacKenzie

EE Cummings - i carry your heart

Eliza Acton- I LOVE THEE.

I LOVE thee, as I love the calm
    Of sweet, star-lighted hours!
I love thee, as I love the balm
    Of early jes'mine flow'rs.

I love thee, as I love the last
    Rich smile of fading day,
Which lingereth, like the look we cast,
    On rapture pass'd away.

I love thee as I love the tone
    Of some soft-breathing flute
Whose soul is wak'd for me alone,
    When all beside is mute.

Mysterious is the fusion of two loving spirits,
each takes the best from the other,
but only to give it back again
enriched with love.  --Romain Rolland

When love is real love,
when people's souls go out to their beloved,
when they lose their hearts to them,
when they act in the unselfish way
in which these exquisite
Old English phrases denote,
a miracle is produced.   --Ernest Dimnet

All love is sweet, given or returned.
Common as light is love,
And it's familiar voice wearies not ever......  --Percy Bysshe Shelley
                                                                 

Wellll..... towards the end of January we noticed that we were having some problems with our water. So we've been rotating household tasks that require laundry (mainly laundry, dishes, showers), which helped. But the past two days, the water pressure is horrible! Well, tonight Honey took a look and discovered that the pressure tank is ker-plut. RATS!!!!!!

"Completely gone?" I asked him.

"Probably."

"Oh..... plummer?"

"More than likely on this one."

"Crap. sigh. We aren't going to get to keep our tax return, are we?"

"Nope."

"Life giveth, life taketh away....."

So, hopefully Honey is going to be able to find someone to come in and take a look. Hopefully it will be fixed by the weekend. Meantime, when Mom C found out, she told me to send Honey over with a bunch of dirty laundry. She'd be happy to wash it for us. That was really sweet so I sent over towels and the girls clothes.

You just have to chuckle in situations like this. I just hope and pray that we will have enough to pay for the whole bill. Hopefully just a part or something can be replaced and we won't have to buy a whole new unit. Such is life. Might as well keep on smiling!!!!

Cheers! ~MacKenzie

So, this past week, I had sort of a fun dream.  And as some of you know, I have a tough time these days remembering my dreams, so when I do dream and remember I just get that warm fuzzy feeling as I think, "Yay, I had a dream...."    Yes, I am in a rather strange mood today.  Anyway.....

I had a really interesting dream where I was rather floaty, gliding, but yet walking across a sea of turquoise.  It was just so peaceful and soothing.  I remember feeling so happy and content.  The stone on my bare feet felt cool yet warm and soothing and  soft, even though stone is hard....  It was just one of THOSE dreams. 

I've been thinking a lot about the dream and the color blue.  Since having my dream, I have been wishing for a piece of turquoise to wear around my neck.  I enjoy wearing stones and have the typical rose quartz, amethyst, aventurine, black onyx, moss agate, sapphire, lapis.....  a few others......  I don't have turquoise.  I wish I had a piece, so this weekend I did a little searching on the internet. 

whoa..... Can you say expensive!!!?!!!!!!  No wonder I have not picked up a piece.  However, there was one piece that I did find while meandering the internet.  Slightly smaller than I might like, but it was just really pretty.  And natural...not dyed in color or enhanced or anything.  It was *right*.  AND....it already had a hole through it so I wouldn't have to wrap wire around it in order to make a necklace out of it.  I could just attach a few jump rings to it, find some cord and presto!  turquoise pendant.  Knowing me though I'd add just a few more beads for a little piazz and then... presto, but anyway.....

The turquoise that I found was $15.  Therein lies the confliction.   With most of the other stones I wear, I've bought them in person.  I've felt held them, rubbed them in between my hands, made sure that it felt right to me.  If I found a stone that felt right, $15 was tolerable.  Okay, I admit it, I'm Fussy!!!!!  And unfortunately, the crystal store is not around the corner.  The closest store with any  half way decent stones is about 4 hours away (ah, the price we pay for seclusion). 

So, I"m still debating.  I was hoping that maybe writing about it would help give me a little more clarity on which way I lean towards.  Oh well.....

Maybe it will come to me in another dream!!!!!   :) 
Cheers!  ~MacKenzie

Good morning! Up until a few minutes ago, it was just Pumpkin and I up and cuddling in our blankets, talking. (it was only 56 in here this am and furnace had already kicked on when I got up!!!) It was really nice just to be with her alone. Sometimes lately I glance her way and think that I see a stranger who is supposed to be my daughter before me. She may look exactly like me, may have many of my traits, but her personality is all her own. Plus, my experience with 6-12 year olds is beyond what you'd call limited. When she gets all hyper and silly, (you know the kid silly that is the almost annoying silly), I have a hard time with that. She's just trying to be a kid so I try really hard to play a long rather than say stop being so silly, but I feel/fear that the interaction can sometimes be strained. I don't remember ever being like that. Where she is focused outwardly, I've always been an introvert.

I don't want to loose her. I know that I have to just keep trying until things work out. At one point I really beat myself up because I tried to model my relationship with my girls by a woman whom I work with. She's a single mom and has just the best relationship with her daughter. They are not only mother/daughter but best friends. Their relationship is amazing. I really wanted that. Then, one day Papa looked at me. He said, "Friendships is all and good, but there's only one person who can fill the role of being her mother. That's you. And everyone needs a mother....." oh.....

I did take his advice to heart. I stopped trying to be EVERYTHING to her and just focused on being a mom to her first. It can be tough and frustrating at times because I want to be the one that she goes to for suggestions and advice, but she has found that in Mom C. I just have to be patient and understanding and thankful that she could have found someone much worse than my mom in law. I want her childhood to be different than mine. Not that mine was bad or anything. My mom was content to sit on the side lines in the shadows and watch. I want to be much more active in all of the girls lives.

Eventually, Parrot wandered out of her room to join us. Then they wanted to watch Scooby Doo. Within 10 minutes of that on, out came Monkey. And now....it's not really quiet in her after all. How does Honey sleep through all this???

It's another start to a nice bright, sunny day!!!!
Cheers! ~MacKenzie